Friday, March 26, 2010

Ever wish you could go back in time?

Ever wish you could go back in time? I do. Actually, I think about it all the time. There are moments in my life that I wish I could bring my current thinking and knowledge back in time to make things better. Sometimes I just want to be young again and have no worries. Other times, I want to feel that feeling of love or fearlessness or ambition that I did in the past. I think about college a lot. I scan through high school from time to time and wonder what old friends are doing today (I guess I could find them on facebook). Memories are great but nothing would be like actually going back and being in the moment even if it was only as a spectator like Scrooge.

The only thing about going back is the fear of the butterfly effect. That I might change one thing and it changes everything. I don't want to change anything in it's current state. I love my wife. I love my children. I am happy with the accomplishments that I have achieved in my life. I don't want to be anyone else. I will take my life good or bad.

I wish I would have made more videos or taken better care of the ones I had so that I could experience 1979, 1986, 1991, 1992-1996, even 1999-2001 and definitely 2002, 2005 and 2007. I close my eyes sometimes and I am outside the apartment that would be my home for the next three months in New York City. My dad is hugging me for the first time in a long time. He says "I love you" for the first time I remember. I feel like I'm three years old but I am happy, happy, happy. There are so many moments that I enjoy from the past. So many great days and memorable nights. I guess they will always be there in my mind.

Ever wish you could see the future? I do. Actually I think about it all the time.

1 comment:

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